messaging_realms | TRU04: PROPHECIES

[Whether due to lazy staff, a clerical error, or an intent to send a message, each unit in Concord Crossing awakens to a bundled-up periodical on its doorstep in the morning...]

THE CONCORD TRUTHOGRAM "The most honest and trustworthy publication in Concord!" CONCORD CULT'S ENDGAME REPTILIAN RELIGION'S RAPTURE IS REALIZED The signs can be ignored no longer: the reptilian pygmy cultists of Concord are bent on bringing about their own depraved prophecy of the end times. Our exclusive eyewitnesses have witnessed one reptile seemingly suffering from a festering plague, and another revealing itself to be an angelic harbinger of the apocalypse; investigation is ongoing as to whether or not any actual people will be harmed in the cult's self-made armageddon or whether the rest of us can simply leave them to their wretched devices and idolatry, as well as the true nature of the strange, demonic goat that appears to serve as the cult's supposed deity. One reporter has spied it within the Priory during a late-night investigative visit to a Warlock's private (Continued on page 3) A PRINCESS' PASSIONATE PLOY The dread Princess Corrin's imperial aims for Concord have taken a strange turn: unwilling to risk a scrap of power falling to anyone outside the Cabal's inner circle, eyewitnesses have reported that Corrin has abandoned her habit of taking beastmen consorts and has instead begun courting one of her own lieutenants as a sultry royal bride-to-be. Our political analysts believe they plan for the institution of an oppressive matriarchy where men will be collared and (Continued on page 4) KEEPING WATCH Whether a proactive measure of caution or an indicator of weakening faith in their own literal Starfallen dogs, the Concord so-called "Astronomical Society" has begun hiring private investigators to spy upon Starfallen activities outside of the city proper. Unsurprisingly the moral fiber of this Secret Police seems to be lacking, as an undercover journalist has witnessed one of them approaching a vulnerable newcomer and "...feeding her his pocket sausage". Despite the (Continued on page 6) PARDON MY CANDOR Allow me to be the first to say what everyone with half a brain already knows: so-called 'drunken and disorderly conduct' isn't a real crime, and certainly not one that would call for a month and a half of 'community service'. Let's all just call it what it is: The Concord so-called "Astronomical Society" has moved straightaway into brazen totalitarianism and a transparent effort to oppress independent journalism in (Continued on page 8, "Letters from the editor")

[The Starfallen quickly all congregate on the same page in the Liber Nuntiorum to discuss it...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, this is trash.

Edited (now with html!) 2021-03-27 14:48 (UTC)

I dunno what you’re talking about, this is comedy gold.

Maybe.

A BIG maybe.

I still vote for burning it.

Oh really? Well do I have some news for you. I've been toying with the idea of visiting them with some good-natured arson. Maybe we can work something out.

Ha!

I really do just mean burning the papers though...

If you want to keep it small, that's fine too.

We could roast marshmallows and make s'mores if we get a good fire going though!

That sounds lovely. What's a s'more though?

Only the best thing ever!

You take a roasted marshmallow and smoosh it between two graham crackers with a piece of chocolate.

They're soooooooo good!

What's a graham cracker? Or a marshmallow for that matter? Or is this something I should just experience for myself?

It makes sense that you wouldn't know about them, but it really is something you have to experience.

Just the crunch from the cracker, the melting chocolate and the gooey marshmallow.

It's so yummy. Now I want one.

I want one too, actually. Maybe I'll see if I can find some in Laourn. Don't wanna go all the way back to Concord to try and find them. Do you have any suggestions on chocolate?

You won't regret it, promise!

I don't know what you'll find in Laourn, but a good quality milk chocolate is a must! Unless you like dark chocolate.

There's more than one kind of chocolate?

Yep! Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, all sorts of different kinds! I bet you can find some in Concord's market if you looked hard enough.

Aw man, Concord's such a long way though. I guess I could make the trip out, but I'd have to find more to do in Concord if I'm going out there. ...Maybe I'll see if Durant or one of the other kobolds are free. Make my trip worthwhile.

It's been awhile since we first met. I say we get together and hang out. :)

Who's Durant?

[A moment of contemplation before the words start appearing again]

Huge lizard guy. Used to live with him. He's pretty cool. Huge, red, yellow feathers, basically no clothes? And, yeah, sure. I can hit you up too. You can teach me how to s'more, and...

[Another pause.]

To be clear, I was going to attempt to booty call those people, if you want to get added to that list, I can put you on it, but I figure you ought to know for clarity's sake. After all, intimacy powers this world, and we've gotta do our part to save it, right?

(no subject)

boomchucka - 2021-04-01 23:02 (UTC) - Expand

air_raider - 2021-04-01 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

boomchucka - 2021-04-01 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

air_raider - 2021-04-01 23:32 (UTC) - Expand

boomchucka - 2021-04-01 23:36 (UTC) - Expand

air_raider - 2021-04-01 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

The purpose of our arrival is to provide succor for this world, and these writers are included citizens.

While it is understandably frustrating to have your hand slapped away, inflicting harm upon them would only give them more, quite ironic, fuel. We'd prove them right.

Actually, G'raha, I'm glad you chimed in. For the last few months, I've been sort of... unable to do those sorts of things. Like, I can't bring myself to do actual criminality. I think it might have something to do with the transformation? Maybe it's just old habits dying hard, but I don't think I could actually act on it if I wanted to. It's a weird feeling. So while I might say it, I don't think

[A brief pause]

I couldn't do it, even I wanted to.

A shift in morality...? That isn't outside the realm of possibilities, but something to take note of nevertheless.

Thank you for informing me of this.

No problem. Not fond of it, but, I'm not going to be able to act against them unprovoked. Which is fine, but... I dunno, it feels weird to have my hand stayed by something I can't see, feel, or understand.

I apologize. It must feel terribly helpless. But at the very least, being unable to commit arson is a... plus?

When you put it that way I still sound like a criminal.

Well, nothing to be done for it. I'll just have to keep being the creature of angelic virtue that I seem to be increasingly leaning toward.