TRU04: PROPHECIES

[dm_screen]

[Whether due to lazy staff, a clerical error, or an intent to send a message, each unit in Concord Crossing awakens to a bundled-up periodical on its doorstep in the morning...]

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THE CONCORD TRUTHOGRAM
"The most honest and trustworthy publication in Concord!"

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CONCORD CULT'S ENDGAME
REPTILIAN RELIGION'S RAPTURE IS REALIZED



The signs can be ignored no longer: the reptilian pygmy cultists of Concord are bent on bringing about their own depraved prophecy of the end times. Our exclusive eyewitnesses have witnessed one reptile seemingly suffering from a festering plague, and another revealing itself to be an angelic harbinger of the apocalypse; investigation is ongoing as to whether or not any actual people will be harmed in the cult's self-made armageddon or whether the rest of us can simply leave them to their wretched devices and idolatry, as well as the true nature of the strange, demonic goat that appears to serve as the cult's supposed deity. One reporter has spied it within the Priory during a late-night investigative visit to a Warlock's private (Continued on page 3)

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A PRINCESS' PASSIONATE PLOY
The dread Princess Corrin's imperial aims for Concord have taken a strange turn: unwilling to risk a scrap of power falling to anyone outside the Cabal's inner circle, eyewitnesses have reported that Corrin has abandoned her habit of taking beastmen consorts and has instead begun courting one of her own lieutenants as a sultry royal bride-to-be. Our political analysts believe they plan for the institution of an oppressive matriarchy where men will be collared and (Continued on page 4)

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KEEPING WATCH
Whether a proactive measure of caution or an indicator of weakening faith in their own literal Starfallen dogs, the Concord so-called "Astronomical Society" has begun hiring private investigators to spy upon Starfallen activities outside of the city proper. Unsurprisingly the moral fiber of this Secret Police seems to be lacking, as an undercover journalist has witnessed one of them approaching a vulnerable newcomer and "...feeding her his pocket sausage". Despite the (Continued on page 6)

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PARDON MY CANDOR
Allow me to be the first to say what everyone with half a brain already knows: so-called 'drunken and disorderly conduct' isn't a real crime, and certainly not one that would call for a month and a half of 'community service'. Let's all just call it what it is: The Concord so-called "Astronomical Society" has moved straightaway into brazen totalitarianism and a transparent effort to oppress independent journalism in (Continued on page 8, "Letters from the editor")

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[The Starfallen quickly all congregate on the same page in the Liber Nuntiorum to discuss it...]

Comments

[lowercase_dragon]

Guys.

Guys.

How does this get better every time I see it?

[air_raider]

I dunno, but it's beautiful.

[einspine]

IF YOU'RE PART OF A CULT, THEN CLEARLY IT'S A COOL CULT.

A... COOLT? NO. THAT DOESN'T ROLE OFF THE METAPHORICAL TONGUE VERY WELL.

BUT I, FOR ONE, SUPPORT THIS WORLD'S REPTILIAN INHABITANTS!

[lowercase_dragon]

And I support this world's boney inhabitants!

This is not actually my first time being in a cult though. It is the first time I've ever been in a cult and not known it, however...!

[bladeofconquest]

Ugh! This...drivel they've written about us is vile, absolutely vile! It's practically pornography!

Gods, the way this is written, I pity whoever the Truthogram pays to clean their offices, because they are not being paid enough!

[autumnbold]

what does it say?

i can not read it

everyone seems mad though

[bladeofconquest]

[ASRA NO]

Mean things, Asra. That's all. Mean things about me and someone I care a great deal about. You don't need to worry about it, trust me.

[air_raider]

Congrats Corrin. Not that I had any doubts about you. Like I said before, Schala's a lucky girl to have you in her life.

Sorry it got broadcast to everyone like this though.

[einspine]

GASP!!! HOW LEWD OF THEM!

IT SOUNDS LIKE BAD FANFICTION OF BAD FANFICTION!

ALTHOUGH IF THERE'S ANY TRUTH TO IT BENEATH THE LAYERS OF LIES... I CAN MAKE WEDDING SPAGHETTI! OR RIGATONI. OR PERHAPS FETTUCCINE.

BUT THAT'S ONLY IF!!!

[air_raider]

"Angelic harbinger of the apocalypse?" I could get used to getting called that. Though, more technically, I'm an angelic harbinger of the antiapocalypse, because the apocalypse has already happened on Thas, and I'm undoing it. Though that doesn't have the same ring to it. If they want to keep writing about how cool I am, though, they're welcome to do it as far as I'm concerned.

Does anyone know who the supposed plague bearer is?

[lowercase_dragon]

Wow, the apocalypse already happened so you're going around undoing it? That's a new one! Props to you, that's pretty neat!

Also definitely not me, paladin privilege. No diseases. Is Asra a necromancer or something? She's really little!

[air_raider]

Yeah, the world ended and my little crew's undoing it bit by bit. Or trying to. Whether or not we're succeeding is dubious yet. Hopefully, we'll figure out how to make meaningful change. Or, they'll have to figure it out without me, rather.

Asra? She's the really little one with the I guess that makes sense. I've heard about her from Cecil, but haven't met her. I think she's scared of me or something?

[mech_and_mutt]

Angelic harbinger of the apocalypse?

Dunno Adah, I think they've got your number

[lizardtits]

Wow, they are really reaching for a narrative this month. But, if they want one, I say we give them one. I'll need some help for this, but who wants to fake a civil war between Corrin's monarchist loyalists and my or Harry's communist agenda? Maybe we could get the "reptile cult" involved somehow. The shadowy third faction pitting the two of us against each other so that they can swoop in and take control of Concord.

It'll be like a stage play, and we wouldn't even have to write it ourselves.

[lowercase_dragon]

I volunteer for 'reptile cult' duties! Can I cackle like a dramatic playwright writing schlock and pairing characters up in it?

[air_raider]

Is this a serious offer? Because I am absolutely here for this plan.

[einspine]

GASP!!!! VELO, ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE...

LIVE ACTION ROLEPLAY?!

[tequilasunset]

But

It was just salami.

I had some left over for butter bread.

Why are they getting on me for my dried meats?

Are they now against cholesterol or something?

[air_raider]

Wait, did you actually feed someone sausage from your pocket?

[a_sweet_little_peach]

I would very much appreciate it if they would not call one of my friends plague-ridden. She's very nice and trying very hard.

On the other hand... if they are intent on calling me a god, perhaps they should exercise more caution in how they displease me.

My Angel of Chaos, would you care to show them their mistakes?

[air_raider]

With gusto. I should see if I can get one of our more magically inclined friends to amplify my voice. Get it booming and resonant. Then I can really get my message out.

[autumnbold]

i do not know what it says

but everyone seems mad

what is going on

[boomchucka]

O Mighty God, might I interest you in a match?

[boomchucka]

Well, this is trash.

[air_raider]

I dunno what you’re talking about, this is comedy gold.