TRU01: EXTRA, EXTRA

[dm_screen]

[Whether due to lazy staff, a clerical error, or an intent to send a message, each unit in Concord Crossing awakens to a bundled-up periodical on its doorstep in the morning...]

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THE CONCORD TRUTHOGRAM
"The most honest and trustworthy publication in Concord!"

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LIZARD PEOPLE INVADE!
Tiny reptilian residents spotted forming goat-deity worshipping cult; conclusive evidence of Featheraptors interbreeding with sewer pygmies (More on Page 2)

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HEAVENLY BODIES
Astronomers' new sick experiment: Adamantium breast implants? Exclusive candid photos of draconic test subject. Experts agree: They can't POSSIBLY be real. (More on Page 5, with fold-out spread)

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THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
Eyewitness reports COMMUNIST SUBVERSIVES threatening values of Concord residents; in league with insidious council known as "The French" (More on Page 6, with speculated organizational chart)

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CANDY MAN
Unkempt-looking man spied in clandestine party near Concord Crossing, peddling strange, glowing chemicals as recreational drinks. Are YOUR children safe? (More on Page 8)

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[The Starfallen quickly all congregate on the same page in the Liber Nuntiorum to discuss it...]

Comments

[topgun_textiles]

THAT'S what you got out of this? Come on, dude.

[einspine]

I'M SURE THE AUTHORS ARE JUST MISINFORMED. WE'RE NEW AND STRANGE AND THAT MEANS LOTS OF CONFUSING QUESTIONS!!!

BUT METTATON ALWAYS DID SAY THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY.

[topgun_textiles]

There is in this case.

Just keep your head low and be careful, man. People can pretty easily get their opinions twisted around if someone shouts bullshit loud enough.

[einspine]

HMM. ACTUALLY, THAT'S A FAIR POINT. MISUNDERSTANDINGS HAVE SPARKED PROBLEMS BEFORE...

DO YOU THINK WE COULD CLEAR THE AIR SOMEHOW BEFORE THE RESIDENTS GET THE WRONG IDEA? IF PEOPLE WERE HURT BY THIS, THEN THERE MUST BE A WAY TO MAKE IT BETTER!

[topgun_textiles]

We could explain ourselves, but the shitty thing about rumors is that the one who hits first has the power. We're on the defensive now.

Best we can do is put our best foot forward. Be yourself, you know? If someone wants to believe this shit, let them. Everyone else can see what we're made of and use their brain to come to their own conclusion.

[einspine]

HMM.

I DO APPROVE OF BRAIN-USAGE!

WELL! PERHAPS A PUZZLE WOULD HELP THEM UNDERSTAND. WE COULD GATHER A BUNCH OF STARFALLEN WITH THESE MISGUIDED NEWSPEOPLE AND HAVE THEM PARTAKE IN A SERIES OF RIGOROUS TEAM-BUILDING EXERCISES!!!