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messaging_realms2020-11-12 02:19 pm
dm_screen) wrote in messaging_realms2020-11-12 02:19 pm
Entry tags:
TRU01: EXTRA, EXTRA
[Whether due to lazy staff, a clerical error, or an intent to send a message, each unit in Concord Crossing awakens to a bundled-up periodical on its doorstep in the morning...]
THE CONCORD TRUTHOGRAM
"The most honest and trustworthy publication in Concord!"
LIZARD PEOPLE INVADE!
Tiny reptilian residents spotted forming goat-deity worshipping cult; conclusive evidence of Featheraptors interbreeding with sewer pygmies (More on Page 2)
HEAVENLY BODIES
Astronomers' new sick experiment: Adamantium breast implants? Exclusive candid photos of draconic test subject. Experts agree: They can't POSSIBLY be real. (More on Page 5, with fold-out spread)
THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
Eyewitness reports COMMUNIST SUBVERSIVES threatening values of Concord residents; in league with insidious council known as "The French" (More on Page 6, with speculated organizational chart)
CANDY MAN
Unkempt-looking man spied in clandestine party near Concord Crossing, peddling strange, glowing chemicals as recreational drinks. Are YOUR children safe? (More on Page 8)
[The Starfallen quickly all congregate on the same page in the Liber Nuntiorum to discuss it...]
THE CONCORD TRUTHOGRAM
"The most honest and trustworthy publication in Concord!"
LIZARD PEOPLE INVADE!
Tiny reptilian residents spotted forming goat-deity worshipping cult; conclusive evidence of Featheraptors interbreeding with sewer pygmies (More on Page 2)
HEAVENLY BODIES
Astronomers' new sick experiment: Adamantium breast implants? Exclusive candid photos of draconic test subject. Experts agree: They can't POSSIBLY be real. (More on Page 5, with fold-out spread)
THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
Eyewitness reports COMMUNIST SUBVERSIVES threatening values of Concord residents; in league with insidious council known as "The French" (More on Page 6, with speculated organizational chart)
CANDY MAN
Unkempt-looking man spied in clandestine party near Concord Crossing, peddling strange, glowing chemicals as recreational drinks. Are YOUR children safe? (More on Page 8)
[The Starfallen quickly all congregate on the same page in the Liber Nuntiorum to discuss it...]
no subject
[Sapient undead are really hard to find--is this some sorta skelly-shaped not-undead? That seems possible, actually...]
no subject
NATURALLY, A FEW SCRAPES WILL INEVITABLY MEND AS I AM A VERY HEALTHY AND HANDSOME SKELETON! BUT MONSTER FOOD HAS HEALING PROPERTIES, ANYWAY. EVEN THE... SIGH, GREASY KIND.
IMAGINE. EATING GREASY FOOD EVERY DAY. I CAN'T THINK OF A MORE TRAGIC LIFESTYLE!!!
[And yes, he did just write the word sigh out.]
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What about vegetables? Can you eat those? What about baked things? Baking's really cool. I think whoever invented that should be given a prize.
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I JUST HAVE HIGH STANDARDS.
FOR INSTANCE, WHEN IT COMES TO BREAKFASTS, I WON'T SETTLE FOR ORDINARY OATY MEALS. NO! THE OATS MUST EMBRACE THE SUGARY SHELLS OF TINY DINOSAUR EGGS!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T APPROVE OF EATING ACTUAL DINOSAUR EGGS. THAT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL!!!
1/2
You like sugar though? Is it because it's sweet?
2/2
(Heehee)
no subject
Wait. A. Second.]
ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME?!
[GASP!!! How forward! They haven't even met face to face yet!
...Does he still have to date? Does that count when it's in writing?]
no subject
[You can't fault her forwardness, at least.
Or, maybe you can. That's actually definitely something you can fault.]
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[Wowie. That... certainly is an honest affirmation that, yes. Flirting happened.]
WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!!!
SO. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PUZZLES?!
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[At least, ones that she can't solve by using a spell. A spell that she no longer has!]
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YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS!
[...]
I GUESS THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU?
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AM DECIDEDLY A HANDSOME STUD OF A SKELETON!!!
WHICH IS TO SAY THAT I'M VERY MUCH MALE
ALTHOUGH I GUESS TECHNICALLY LADY SKELETONS COULD ALSO BE HANDSOME
AS WELL AS OTHER GENDERS. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BELIEVE IN THE HANDSOMENESS POTENTIAL OF ALL!!!
BUT ALSO, WE SHOULD PROBABLY FIGURE OUT WHERE AND WHEN THIS DATE SHOULD. COMMENCE.
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What are you into for dates? I'll do whatever you want me to!
no subject
[But, ah... Hm.
What he's into...
It's a good thing they're communicating over magic books. It means he can mask his awkwardness by just. Waiting to formulate his thoughts! Perfect.
Because... he has so little experience! Sure, he had dinner with Frisk. That was a platonic date! And yes, naturally, he consumed copious romantic records to engineer the D.A.T.E.
Hmm. But what would he like? The pressure is on! There's so much to think about! But he can't keep her waiting forever. Hmm...]
I LIKE
[Drip, drip. Come on, Papyrus! Keep it cool.]
PLEASANT COMPANY! EXCITING ACTIVITIES THAT PROMOTE GETTING TO KNOW MY DATE! GOOD FOOD AND VIEWS ARE ACCEPTABLE AND COOL.
BUT THESE THINGS CAN ALSO BE, AS COOL DUDES LIKE MYSELF SAY, "CHILL." AND "LOW KEY" IF THE NEED ARISES.
BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM VERY FLEXIBLE! SO I AM ALSO OPEN TO MAKING SURE THIS DATE IS EXTRA GREAT FOR YOU TOO!
[There. Big words and charisma! That can mask his awkwardness.]
no subject
I'm flexible too~~
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Drip, drip. More ink splotches. Don't mind that!
Cold spot. Warm food. Seems... very romantical. Which is. Appropriate date-material?]
DO YOU LIKE HIGH PLACES? I ONCE WENT ON A DATE AT A LOVELY ROOFTOP VENUE. IT WAS LOVELY!
WE'D JUST NEED TO
FIND THE OPTIMUM HEIGHT FOR... THE COLD NIGHT AIR? AND I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, SHALL CONCOCT THE MOST SIZZLING, SALAVATION-INDUCING SPAGHETTI!!! ...UNLESS YOU DON'T LIKE SPAGHETTI.
THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS.