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messaging_realms2021-07-28 01:23 pm
chimermaid) wrote in messaging_realms2021-07-28 01:23 pm
On gastropod care and preparation
As per the request from the bounty board for recipes, and on the assumption that most of you are inexperienced with vivarium work, I'm going to offer some culinary advice. I will of course be writing this with a general audience in mind.
How to prepare snails for consumption
You will need:
-Freshwater snails (as many as required)
-A generous amount of fresh fruit or herbs (whichever you'd like, though I often use parsley)
-A large glass container, given adequate air flow and humidity (a wooden container can suffice)
-A scalpel or sharp knife
-1 cup salt per 100 snails (you can use 1/2 cup of vinegar per 100 snails if you prefer)
Step 1 - Place your snails in the container, ensuring not to overcrowd them. You'll want enough space to be able to clean it out every day.
Step 2 - Place a small bunch of herbs or fruit in the container with the snails. Replace it whenever it's been eaten through. This will be their diet for the next week or so.
Step 3 - House, monitor, and feed the snails for at least five days, cleaning their waste product and slime from the container at least once a day.
Step 4 - Forty-eight hours before consumption, cease providing them with produce. This will allow them to purge their digestive tract. Continue cleaning during this time period.
Step 5 - Using a knife, carefully remove the membrane covering the shell's aperture.
Step 6 - Soak the snails in a mixture of water and the proportionate amount of salt or vinegar for anywhere from four to six hours. This will cleanse the mucus from their bodies and ensure that they are entirely purged.
Step 7 - Clean the shells by rubbing them with your hands, then rinse them three or four times in cool water.
Once you've completed these steps, you may cook the snails in whatever manner you wish. I would suggest boiling them in salted water for three minutes before removing them from their shells with forceps. Should you wish to serve them in their shells, boil them separately, adding baking soda instead of salt (about 1/2 tbsp per cup of water). But haute cuisine goes beyond my areas of expertise. I usually eat the snails after step four.
[And then, minutes later, practically as an afterthought...]
However, I would not advise this for people who lack the proper dentition and stomach pH.
You will need:
-Freshwater snails (as many as required)
-A generous amount of fresh fruit or herbs (whichever you'd like, though I often use parsley)
-A large glass container, given adequate air flow and humidity (a wooden container can suffice)
-A scalpel or sharp knife
-1 cup salt per 100 snails (you can use 1/2 cup of vinegar per 100 snails if you prefer)
Step 1 - Place your snails in the container, ensuring not to overcrowd them. You'll want enough space to be able to clean it out every day.
Step 2 - Place a small bunch of herbs or fruit in the container with the snails. Replace it whenever it's been eaten through. This will be their diet for the next week or so.
Step 3 - House, monitor, and feed the snails for at least five days, cleaning their waste product and slime from the container at least once a day.
Step 4 - Forty-eight hours before consumption, cease providing them with produce. This will allow them to purge their digestive tract. Continue cleaning during this time period.
Step 5 - Using a knife, carefully remove the membrane covering the shell's aperture.
Step 6 - Soak the snails in a mixture of water and the proportionate amount of salt or vinegar for anywhere from four to six hours. This will cleanse the mucus from their bodies and ensure that they are entirely purged.
Step 7 - Clean the shells by rubbing them with your hands, then rinse them three or four times in cool water.
Once you've completed these steps, you may cook the snails in whatever manner you wish. I would suggest boiling them in salted water for three minutes before removing them from their shells with forceps. Should you wish to serve them in their shells, boil them separately, adding baking soda instead of salt (about 1/2 tbsp per cup of water). But haute cuisine goes beyond my areas of expertise. I usually eat the snails after step four.
[And then, minutes later, practically as an afterthought...]
However, I would not advise this for people who lack the proper dentition and stomach pH.
no subject
I... DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH WORK WENT INTO IT.
MOSTLY BECAUSE I DON'T GO OUT OF MY WAY TO EAT SNAILS. THE ONLY SHELLS I CRACK ARE THE EGGS OF THE DELICIOUS SUGAR DINOSAUR EGGS IN MY OATMEAL!
AND ALSO ANY EGGS USED IN THE COOKING PROCESS, BE IT BAKED GOODS OR MORE PROTEIN-RICH BREAKFASTS! ALSO THE OCCASIONAL SALAD TOPPING.
no subject
Interesting. I wouldn't have considered them candidates for that sort of modification. Did you engineer the breed yourself?
[She may have misunderstood precisely what Papyrus had meant...]
no subject
OH. WAIT.
JUST TO CLARIFY: THEY AREN'T LITERAL DINOSAUR EGGS! JUST SUGARY CONFECTIONS MEANT TO LOOK LIKE THEM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT INSPIRED HUMANS TO INVENT SUCH A TREAT, BUT I FIRST UNCOVERED THEM AMONG THE MANY DISCARDED HUMAN TREASURES IN OUR DUMP!
AND, NATURALLY, I TRIED MY BEST TO REPLICATE THEM SO EVERYONE CAN CELEBRATE THEIR SPLENDOR!
no subject
[Somehow that was actually a little bit disappointing, but probably for the best.]
And am I reading you correctly that you pulled them from the garbage?
no subject
Can you eat just any snails, or are there specific kinds you'd have to steer clear of?
no subject
I am pleased to report, however, that the local beast known as a 'flail snail' is edible and quite delicious if you'd wish to cook it, though for its size it would be far more difficult to house or purge. And especially to slaughter. They fight back, and they're surprisingly strong.
Then again, the tradeoff would be that you could swiftly clean and gut them in more conventional ways.
no subject
[Doc. No.]
no subject
Snails are well-regarded as a delicacy, you know.
no subject
Uh huh. Delicacy. Not when they're attacking you and come up to your hips in height. No ma'am.
no subject
no subject
[Insert a drawing of a flail with a spiky snail attached to it here.]
I'm still gonna pass, thanks.
Why can't you guys just eat normal food?
no subject
A flail snail is local wildlife in the Outlands. They're quite large, and I'm told they're a challenge for mages to fight due to their magic-resistant shells.
And I do eat normal food. Snails are normal food.
no subject
But if the shells are super hard to crack, then they need an outlander to help with that. We're super strong and can crack shells no problem!
...I think.
Snails are not normal food. They're fancy food you eat at a fancy restaurant. Normal food is stuff like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Or egg salad. Or... maybe a deconstructed archon bread? Like a fish mix with vegetables on top squished between two pieces of bread.
Doc! Help me out here!
no subject
That isn't normal food. Even comparing it to normal food is an insult to normal food, let alone something as wholesome as a fish sandwich.
But I do understand your apprehension. I had no appetite for snails until I made myself as you see me now.
no subject
So why not take it apart and make a sandwich instead?
I don't think I'm much for snails though. You're welcome to enjoy them for me though! I like things to be simple from time to time. Food is one of those things that should be simple.
Maybe I should tell him that.