Velofnir Hraesvelgr (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lizardtits) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
messaging_realms2021-07-14 07:50 pm
lizardtits) wrote in messaging_realms2021-07-14 07:50 pm
2-for-1 Bounty Special: This is Why You Don't Give an Engineer the Run of a Kitchen.
I've been tasked by a very energetic chef in Laourn to share a few recipes I've learned from home. While I'm no expert cook, I do have a few creations that my colleagues at the Ironworks I used to work at came up with.
Mind, these are very much not for the feint of heart, and do require a little bit of nonstandard kitchen equipment. I'll include a few diagrams of ways you can make do if you can't get your hands on distillation equipment.
Engineer's Coffee
-250g coffee beans (your choice)
-2L water (Mineral if you're drinking it, distilled if you're extracting it (see part B of recipe)
-Cream & sugar to taste
OPTIONAL:
-2Heavy whipping cream
-200mg / 20mL Vanilla (whole beans / extract)
EQUIPMENT:
-Mortar & pestle
-Pot or saucepan
Coffee press, filter, or other preferred brewing method
OPTIONAL:
-Chilled pot with lid (insulated, or covered with wool if you don't have an insulated pot)
(Part A)
Start to bring your water to a boil. While it's heating, grind the coffee beans to a soil-like consistency and place into a coffee-making apparatus of your choice. Mind, most siphons and pour-over filters won't be able to handle 250g of coffee, so you may need to divide up the beans into batches. Be sure to keep the ratio of water to beans consistent, though. Too little and you won't get all the coffee, too much and you risk watering it down. The latter can be fixed, but it will take a bit longer.
Now, normal people will call the result a strong pot of coffee and be done with it. We are not. If you are interested in extraction, proceed to Part B. If you want the coffee, continue wit hthis part.
Pour the coffee into a saucepan or pot, and heat it to 90-95°C, just below boiling. Let it simmer for 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the liquid reduces by either a half or 3/4.
If you reduced it by half, what you have is a pot of Engineer's Coffee, guaranteed to wake you up no matter how dead you might feel inside. Take it black, or with cream and sugar.
If you reduced it by 3/4, it is now borderline dangerous for consumption. Instead, add heavy whipping cream, vanilla, and sugar, and place into an insulated, chilled pot, and shake or churn for 30 min, cooling regularly with ice magic or a freezer. The result is ice cream, perfect for hot summer days when you feel too lethargic to do anything.
(Part B)
This method is not for drinking, but rather for extracting the raw caffeine out of the coffee for use in the other recipes here.
EQUIPMENT:
-Dichloromethane (About 1:1 to the water you use)
-Heatproof glass container (2 or 3)
-Pipette
-coffee filter
Start with your coffee after you've brewed it but before you've concentrated it, and pour it into the heatproof glass container so that it's less than halfway filled. If you brewed it in a glass coffee pot, you can use that. Again, you may have to do this in batches. Add your dichloromethane, which can be obtained from most alchemical suppliers, at a 1:1 ratio with the coffee. Stir for 5-10 minutes, then let sit. You will notice the mixture form two separate layers; the dichloromethane on top and the coffee on bottom. Use the pipette to remove the top layer and place in another container lined with a coffee filter. Try not to get any of the coffee, but don't fret if you get a drop or two. Heat the dichloromethane on low heat (around 50-60°C) until it evaporates, leaving behind a white crystal on the coffee filter. That is pure caffeine, aka the stuff that makes coffee work. You will also have the pot of coffee left, now decaffeinated. Just heat it a bit to get rid of the excess dichloromethane and you've got yourself a drink that you can have and still go to bed at a reasonable hour.
The caffeine can be scraped off and stored in a salt shaker until ready to use.
Donut Prime
Homemade donuts, with a kick! This is just the recipe I use. If you have your own recipe, feel free to use that and just add the caffiene and taurine (Available from your local pharmacy or alchemical supplier. It can also be made by hand but we won't do that now) and off you go
[What follows is a rather involved donut recipe, involving dough thickness and hole size measured to the millimeter and proofing times calculated taking ambient humidity into account. The result for those following at home a thick, hearty donut that, strange additives aside, would turn out well.]
[The real strange part if the frosting. The glaze is normal enough; just a sugar glaze laced with more caffeine, but the frosting she gives is made from, of all things, habanero peppers. Dragons and other reptilian races would find it a very mild, citrus-adjacent flavor that gives depth without being overly sweet. Those that have the ability to taste capsaicin, however... well, hopefully you knew what you were getting into when you read "habanero pepper" on the ingredient list. Still, it does a very good job waking you up.]
"The Off Switch"
This one is for the evening. If you're having trouble sleeping, one glass of this will put you out like a light. I've got two variations here, alcoholic and non-alcoholic; the former being more effective, but inadvisable if you need to be up at a reasonable hour the next morning. This was originally developed with my native flora in mind, so I've had to adapt it. There may be some side effects.
[This recipe is more of a tea blend than anything else. Dried camomile, ginger, a few other herbs to taste, and... pollen from that magical flower she, Adah, and Red found in the woods a few months back. The non-alcoholic version is just brewed as straight tea, but the alcoholic version is infused with a strong spirit, either vodka or whiskey. It's hard to tell whether it's the herb mix that puts you to sleep in the latter, or if it's the fact that she advises using at least 125-proof booze. Side effects may include nostalgia, overly-affectionate behavior, or sleepwalking.]
And with that, your sleep schedule is now fully under your control. For those that have trouble reading, I will be providing a live demonstration at the Glistering Estate next week, where I will also be going more in-depth with some of the science behind these steps, which could help your own baking and cooking at home.
[OOC: The live show will be in the comments in a day or so. That will be open to tag, as well.]
Mind, these are very much not for the feint of heart, and do require a little bit of nonstandard kitchen equipment. I'll include a few diagrams of ways you can make do if you can't get your hands on distillation equipment.
Engineer's Coffee
-250g coffee beans (your choice)
-2L water (Mineral if you're drinking it, distilled if you're extracting it (see part B of recipe)
-Cream & sugar to taste
OPTIONAL:
-2Heavy whipping cream
-200mg / 20mL Vanilla (whole beans / extract)
EQUIPMENT:
-Mortar & pestle
-Pot or saucepan
Coffee press, filter, or other preferred brewing method
OPTIONAL:
-Chilled pot with lid (insulated, or covered with wool if you don't have an insulated pot)
(Part A)
Start to bring your water to a boil. While it's heating, grind the coffee beans to a soil-like consistency and place into a coffee-making apparatus of your choice. Mind, most siphons and pour-over filters won't be able to handle 250g of coffee, so you may need to divide up the beans into batches. Be sure to keep the ratio of water to beans consistent, though. Too little and you won't get all the coffee, too much and you risk watering it down. The latter can be fixed, but it will take a bit longer.
Now, normal people will call the result a strong pot of coffee and be done with it. We are not. If you are interested in extraction, proceed to Part B. If you want the coffee, continue wit hthis part.
Pour the coffee into a saucepan or pot, and heat it to 90-95°C, just below boiling. Let it simmer for 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the liquid reduces by either a half or 3/4.
If you reduced it by half, what you have is a pot of Engineer's Coffee, guaranteed to wake you up no matter how dead you might feel inside. Take it black, or with cream and sugar.
If you reduced it by 3/4, it is now borderline dangerous for consumption. Instead, add heavy whipping cream, vanilla, and sugar, and place into an insulated, chilled pot, and shake or churn for 30 min, cooling regularly with ice magic or a freezer. The result is ice cream, perfect for hot summer days when you feel too lethargic to do anything.
(Part B)
This method is not for drinking, but rather for extracting the raw caffeine out of the coffee for use in the other recipes here.
EQUIPMENT:
-Dichloromethane (About 1:1 to the water you use)
-Heatproof glass container (2 or 3)
-Pipette
-coffee filter
Start with your coffee after you've brewed it but before you've concentrated it, and pour it into the heatproof glass container so that it's less than halfway filled. If you brewed it in a glass coffee pot, you can use that. Again, you may have to do this in batches. Add your dichloromethane, which can be obtained from most alchemical suppliers, at a 1:1 ratio with the coffee. Stir for 5-10 minutes, then let sit. You will notice the mixture form two separate layers; the dichloromethane on top and the coffee on bottom. Use the pipette to remove the top layer and place in another container lined with a coffee filter. Try not to get any of the coffee, but don't fret if you get a drop or two. Heat the dichloromethane on low heat (around 50-60°C) until it evaporates, leaving behind a white crystal on the coffee filter. That is pure caffeine, aka the stuff that makes coffee work. You will also have the pot of coffee left, now decaffeinated. Just heat it a bit to get rid of the excess dichloromethane and you've got yourself a drink that you can have and still go to bed at a reasonable hour.
The caffeine can be scraped off and stored in a salt shaker until ready to use.
Donut Prime
Homemade donuts, with a kick! This is just the recipe I use. If you have your own recipe, feel free to use that and just add the caffiene and taurine (Available from your local pharmacy or alchemical supplier. It can also be made by hand but we won't do that now) and off you go
[What follows is a rather involved donut recipe, involving dough thickness and hole size measured to the millimeter and proofing times calculated taking ambient humidity into account. The result for those following at home a thick, hearty donut that, strange additives aside, would turn out well.]
[The real strange part if the frosting. The glaze is normal enough; just a sugar glaze laced with more caffeine, but the frosting she gives is made from, of all things, habanero peppers. Dragons and other reptilian races would find it a very mild, citrus-adjacent flavor that gives depth without being overly sweet. Those that have the ability to taste capsaicin, however... well, hopefully you knew what you were getting into when you read "habanero pepper" on the ingredient list. Still, it does a very good job waking you up.]
"The Off Switch"
This one is for the evening. If you're having trouble sleeping, one glass of this will put you out like a light. I've got two variations here, alcoholic and non-alcoholic; the former being more effective, but inadvisable if you need to be up at a reasonable hour the next morning. This was originally developed with my native flora in mind, so I've had to adapt it. There may be some side effects.
[This recipe is more of a tea blend than anything else. Dried camomile, ginger, a few other herbs to taste, and... pollen from that magical flower she, Adah, and Red found in the woods a few months back. The non-alcoholic version is just brewed as straight tea, but the alcoholic version is infused with a strong spirit, either vodka or whiskey. It's hard to tell whether it's the herb mix that puts you to sleep in the latter, or if it's the fact that she advises using at least 125-proof booze. Side effects may include nostalgia, overly-affectionate behavior, or sleepwalking.]
And with that, your sleep schedule is now fully under your control. For those that have trouble reading, I will be providing a live demonstration at the Glistering Estate next week, where I will also be going more in-depth with some of the science behind these steps, which could help your own baking and cooking at home.
[OOC: The live show will be in the comments in a day or so. That will be open to tag, as well.]
no subject
Are you sure you didn't burn off all your tastebuds or something?
no subject
...Oh, right. Non-dragons find peppers spicy. I forgot about that.
At least it'll still wake you up?
no subject
But if you put the extra caffeine in other batches of coffee that does explain why I was bouncing off the walls the morning after I last visited you
I thought the potion just hadn't worn off yet
and my heart wasno subject
no subject
Guess I was too, then
It explains the
pitter patter too
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Admittedly, the coffee can get bitter if left too long, but when you're working 18-hour shifts with 3 hours of sleep in-between, flavor is secondary to feeling alive.
no subject
no subject
ie, not here.
no subject
You get older, you realize bedtime is an illusion, and that frightens you.
no subject
The younglings may enjoy them.
no subject